OK, so MeeMaw got the Bamboo to work

(if you missed that fun, pat yourself on the back. If you'd like to relive the experience, it's under "OK, I need help with a Wacom Bamboo" in Desktop Hardware). Then I updated. Now the Bamboo does not work.

Rather than give poor MeeMaw several nervous breakdowns (again), we downloaded Virtual Box and loaded in Windows XP. Then Service Pack 2 (for a separate reason entirely, but the fact is that it's there). Installed the driver from the disc that was included with the packet and started the tutorial. The light comes on when the bamboo is plugged in. The light turns orange when the pen is within range of the tablet. If a menu is open, like the start menu, different options light up when the pen is moved in the right general area. But the cursor does not move with the pen. Same with touch.

Corrupted driver? Uninstall. Restart.
www.wacom.com > downloads > bamboo fun pen and touch / windows xp > driver 5.2.4-6. Install. Same problem.

Start > All programs > Bamboo Preferences > CTRL + (click) About. The Touch X and Y axis change when touched. The Pen X and Y axis change when the pen is moved while in range. But the cursor still does not move.
Moment of brilliance!

Turn off Virtual Box mouse integration (since it's reading as a mouse). Maybe Linux isn't letting Windows move the cursor. Give Windows total control over the mouse... No. No, not the problem. Turn integration back on.

Ask Kurt to plug this in to his netbook and Windows 7. The touch works and the cursor moves, but the pen is nonresponsive. He's still ahead of me and only doing the plug-and-play, not the full driver so we'll assume the tablet itself works. Thanks Kurt!! But that means it's me.

Troubleshoot. Is the driver on the Hardware Compatibility List? Yes. Is there an newer driver? That's the one installed. Is there an older driver? Assume that was the one on the disc that didn't work either. Windows say, "This troubleshoot cannot solve your problem." The ONLY button says, "OK, I will look for help elsewhere." So here I am. The computer knows it's there, but it won't tell me where it is. If anybody knows anything, I would appreciate a very hard shove in the right direction.